


Ever Had a God in Your Brain?

by Wolfsheart



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Avengers, Marvel, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. References, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Spoilers, Clint Barton running around naked, Gen, Loki references, Nerf weapons, Thor: The Dark World Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2013-11-25
Packaged: 2018-01-02 15:45:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1058603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfsheart/pseuds/Wolfsheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happens when you're poked with the Glowstick of Destiny and you have a god in your brain?  Hawkeye finds this out, as do the countless S.H.I.E.L.D. agents who get in his way at the Hub.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ever Had a God in Your Brain?

**Author's Note:**

> This was heavily inspired by my seeing Thor 2 and wondering what Hawkeye would be experiencing after his connection to Loki in The Avengers, if Erik Selvig was reacting the way he was (in Thor 2) — if you haven’t seen Thor 2, this isn’t too spoilery, but it does give some things away — like naked Erik Selvig running around Stonehenge. Also, there’s Coulson and mention of the Hub, which was featured in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., Season 1, Episode 7, “The Hub.”

“Director Fury.” 

The non-descript S.H.I.E.L.D. agent stepped up to the man in the leather duster, both his gait and his speech clipped and efficient.  “Director Fury, there’s...a naked man running through the Hub.  We’re trying to catch up to him, but he’s fast and...difficult.” 

Nick Fury did not need this motherfucking news right now.  He’d just heard about Erik Selvig running around naked at Stonehenge until he was apprehended. 

“Director Fury...” 

He turned around and narrowed his eye at the agent.  “What do you want me to do about it, Agent?  You think I don’t have enough to do with getting a handle on Selvig _and_ trying to find out more about this motherfucker who called himself the Mandarin?”  When the agent just stood there and didn’t say anything, Fury sighed.  “You got any footage on this naked man we’ve got here?  And why can’t you get someone like Barton to track him down and shoot his ass with a sleep dart or something.”  He moved over to one of the monitors to see if he couldn’t at least _see_ this naked motherfucker ruining his day. 

“Sir,” the agent finally continued and pointed to the monitor when Fury finally found footage of the problem.  “It _is_ Barton.” 

*

“CAW CAW!” 

That was the first thing Maria heard before she turned and was shot in the face with an arrow, knocking her to the ground. 

“Agent Hill!” one of her over-eager new recruits squeaked and rushed to her side.  The girl, who’d spend more time making sure her scarlet hair had been pulled back into the perkiest ponytail this morning than she had on reminding herself that she was a _professional_ S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, fell to her knees at Maria Hill’s side.  She stabbed the button on her comm-link and shrieked out, “Agent Hill is down!  Agent Hill is down!”  She looked around, expecting a vast lake of blood, given that her superior had been hit in the _face_ with an arrow, but she couldn’t see anything red other than the fuck-me color on her own manicured nails. 

Of course, the sheer panic the agent caused nearly created a stampede of other agents attempting to get to Maria and her, only to wind up with a very annoyed Agent Hill sitting up, rubbing her forehead, and pushing the shrieking woman onto her Hugo Boss-clad ass. 

“Agent!  Stop yelling.  I’m not _down_.  I’m not even bruised,” Maria snapped while rubbing her forehead.  She looked around.  There was no blood.  She curled her fingers around something and brought it forward, holding it in her open palm for the recruit to see.

Both women stared down at the green, orange, and yellow foam arrow. 

“It’s a _Nerf_ arrow,” the agent recruit remarked. 

Maria dropped the toy in the young woman’s lap and stood up. 

“Where the hell is Barton?”

*

He didn’t blink.  He couldn’t blink.  If he blinked, it would be just the fraction of a second needed for him to view that rising army – an army that had been asleep for what could only be centuries.  It was difficult to place a time on what he saw that any human would understand.  Whatever the timeline, what he saw every time he closed his eyes were black-clad, white-faced people whose ears seemed sharpened to points, powder-white hair pulled back in elaborate braids, and eyes that shone in unholy fashion.  They arrived on what could only be called a ship – a space ship – that looked like a knife ready to stab its way into the earth. 

So he must not blink.

*

No one was safe throughout the Hub.  When Fury found Agent Hill, they conferred that something was going on with Barton that they couldn’t explain.  It was erratic behavior.  By the time they made it to another security monitor, there were three more agents who had been caught in the wake of Hawkeye’s fit of...whatever he was going through...and they were picking themselves up off the ground, dazed, and finding the same ‘darts’ that Hill was hit with. 

“Barton’s acting just like Selvig in England,” Fury remarked once it hit him that the two men appeared to be exhibiting similar behavior. 

Agent Hill looked at her superior.  “Selvig’s batshit now, too?”

Fury nodded.  “Buck-ass naked at Stonehenge, ramblin’ like a muthafukka about planets converging...nine realms...something.” 

“Nine realms?  Director Fury, that sounds like something having to do with Asgard and Thor,” Maria commented.  Outside, her expression was as cold and serious as always.  Inside, she was laughing her ass off when the intern they walked past nearly fell over when he heard Nick Fury’s not-so-professional language right here in the Hub.  “And Dr. Selvig and Barton were both affected by the Tesseract when Loki juiced them with that staff.  Perhaps there’s some connection?” 

“Agent Hill, we won’t know for certain until we find Barton, contain him, and figure out what the hell’s wrong with him,” Fury commented and turned down a hallway where Hawkeye was last seen. 

*

Clint Barton moved through the Hub with the stealth few could match.  Today it helped that he had no clothing to hinder him or to make noise.  He moved through the Hub at the highest places where he thought he’d be safe.  Undetected.  When he saw the targets he was after, this time together instead of separate, he launched himself down until he landed on his feet. 

Right in front of Fury and Hill. 

With all of his bits and assets right out for view. 

“Caw caw, motherfuckers,” he whispered.

He cocked the bright orange and green bow, aimed, and fired twice in succession, one slamming into Fury’s chest while the other nicked Hill’s right ear, knocking her comm-link onto the ground.  Everyone else in the hallway stared at Barton with the kind of shock reserved for the homeless crazies biting at their own faces in the subway station.  They’d only heard about the time he’d been juiced with the Loki pokey-stick, but none of them had witnessed the god-madness he’d been under. 

And to be fair, even then, he’d kept all of his clothes on and remained completely solemn throughout the tasks he set out to complete for Loki. 

“They’re coming,” Barton breathed as he cocked two more _Nerf_ arrows and aimed them at Fury’s head. 

“Who?  Who’s comin’, Barton?” Fury questioned, wanting to get anything he could out of the agent before they contained him. 

Before Clint could answer, his attention was diverted by someone moving through the silent and fixated agents toward another doorway, through which that figure disappeared.  This time, he had to blink several times just to convince himself that he was actually saw who he thought he did.  But it was impossible. 

“Coulson...?” he got out right before Maria Hill’s fist slammed into his neck, knocking him unconscious even before he fell to his knees.  The toy bow and quiver of foam arrows dropped to the ground. 

When Fury turned his eye to Hill, she looked back at him and shrugged. 

“What?  He wasn’t cleared for Level Seven,” she retorted then snapped orders for someone to collect Barton and his toys.  


End file.
